#RealConvo Guide: How to Talk to a Suicide Loss Survivor

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The Importance of Firearm Safety and Suicide Prevention

On their website, the CT Suicide Advisory Board states:  reducing access to means that can potentially be misused to cause injury or death- such as firearms and substances- is one of the most effective ways to reduce suicide risk across all age groups.  Methods to reduce access include safe storage and restriction or removal of these means.

Firearms Checklist to Keep You and Your Family Safe:

• Secure all firearms and firearm safe keys in a location inaccessible to youth and other at-risk or unauthorized persons.
• Store all firearms without ammunition.
• Secure ammunition in a separate location from firearms.

 The below infographic contains additional information, recommendations, and resources.

The Impact of Suicide

Suicide is a public health problem.  Suicide deaths have been on the rise in the U.S. over the last decade.  According to the CDC, 49,476 people died by suicide in 2022; it was the 11th leading cause of death.  Here in CT, we lost 388 people to suicide in 2022 (CT DPH). CT deaths by suicide have risen 14% between 2010 and 2019. The CT Suicide Advisory Board states within their 5-year plan “suicide is preventable through sustained attention, resources, collaboration, and commitment from our entire community”.

Warning Signs/Helping Others

Call 9-1-1 or seek immediate help from a mental health provider when you hear or see any one of these behaviors:

• Someone threatening to hurt or kill themselves
• Someone looking for ways to kill themselves: seeking access to pills, weapons, or other means
• Someone talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide
• Seek help by contacting a mental health professional or calling 988 for a referral should you witness, hear, or see anyone exhibiting any one or more of these behaviors:
• Hopelessness
• Rage, anger, seeking revenge
• Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities, seemingly without thinking
• Feeling trapped—like there’s no way out
• Increasing alcohol or drug use
• Withdrawing from friends, family, or society
• Anxiety, agitation, unable to sleep, or sleeping all the time
• Dramatic mood changes
• No reason for living; no sense of purpose in life

Crisis Intervention Supports

• 988 offers 24/7 access to trained crisis counselors who can help people experiencing mental health-related distress. That could be:

• Thoughts of suicide

• Mental health or substance use crisis, or

• Any other kind of emotion distress

• People can call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org for themselves or if they are worried about a loved one who may need crisis support.  

• The 10-digit Lifeline number 1-800-273-TALK (8255) will continue to be operational and will route calls to 988 indefinitely. Veterans, service members, and their families can also still reach the Veterans Crisis Line with the current phone number 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, or by chat or text to 838255.

• For additional information about 988, visit the CT Suicide Advisory Board Website. 

• Crisis Text Line- text CT to 741-741*

• CT 211 to connect to mobile crisis support*

• Western CT Mental Health Network- Danbury area:
  https://portal.ct.gov/DMHAS/WCMHN/Agency-Files/WCMHN-Danbury
  

• 911 for emergencies

Postvention is Prevention

What is suicide postvention?  “Postvention” is a term used to describe the range of timely, coordinated, and appropriate activities following a suicide, that are designed to provide support to loss survivors and to prevent suicide contagion. Effective postvention can reduce distress among those impacted by a death and offers opportunities to educate the community at large about warning signs and how to help, potentially reducing the risk of future suicides. 

Guiding Principles of Suicide Postvention

Assistance, Coordination, Communication, Support, Comfort, Connection, Addressing Stigma

Suicide is a Death Like No Other

Grieving the death of a loved one or friend is never easy.  Grief for survivors of suicide loss is very complicated and distinctive.  Family and friends can feel bewildered, overwhelmed with guilt, experience self-blame, and sometimes anger or rage.  Because of the stigma surrounding suicide, they may encounter blame or judgement from others.  When the time is right, and welcomed by the family, it is important to have appropriate supports and response protocols in place, immediately after the death, and even during the days, weeks, and months ahead.  

We’re Here to Help

If you, your family, or friends have lost someone to suicide and they need help connecting to resources, please reach out to The New Fairfield Suicide Postvention Information Network.  We are not clinicians but rather community stakeholders who can help bridge the gap between those in need and supports available.  

Through Western CT Coalition, the Regional Behavioral Health Action Organization servicing New Fairfield, you can call us at 203-743-7741.  We will get back to you within 48 hours.  You can also email Kathy Hanley at khanley@wctcoalition.org.

Network members include:  

• Kathy Hanley, Behavioral Health Director, Western CT Coalition
• Liz Yoho, Pastor of the New Fairfield Congregational Church
• Cindy White, Director of New Fairfield Social Services
• Melissa Lindsey- New Fairfield First Selectman
• Dr. Kenneth Craw- Superintendent of New Fairfield Schools
• Sergeant Ieraci- New Fairfield Police Department 

Our Partners and Stakeholders

• The New Fairfield Prevention Council
• New Fairfield Board of Selectman
• New Fairfield Public Schools
• Tom Hannah, LCSW
• New Fairfield Police Department
• New Fairfield Volunteer Fire Department
• New Fairfield Emergency Management

Resources

Support Groups and Counseling

Clinical support in New Fairfield- contact Tom Hannah, Licensed Clinical Social Worker 203-648-6502

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, https://afsp.org/ Click here to connect to their support groups and one-on-one support for survivors of suicide loss. They also provide a list of Suicide Bereavement Trained Clinicians (by state). Click here. 

Connecticut Network of Care- committed to promoting access to behavioral healthcare information to all residents of CT. https://connecticut.networkofcare.org/mh/index.aspx

Christian Counseling Center of Greater Danbury- http://www.christiancounselingctr.com/

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Support Groups 
http://namict.org/find-support/support-groups/

Toivo Support Groups  (TOIVO is a peer-run non-profit initiative focused on well-being in CT) toivocenter.org/support-groups/

Grief Supports:

Healing Hearts Center for Grief and Loss https://regionalhospicect.org/bereavement-services/
Grief Recovery, griefrecoverystartshere.com/

Links to Helpful Articles and Online Resources 

Articles by Topic:

How to Talk about the Suicide of your Loved One
Writing the Obituary, Where to Start
Unwritten Goodbyes:  When there is no Suicide Note
“If Only”:  Self-Blame After a Loved One’s Suicide
Supporting Children and Teens after a suicide death
After a Suicide, Sibling Survivors are Often Overlooked

Websites to visit:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
American Association of Suicidology
Survivors of Suicide
Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors
Speaking of Suicide
CT Suicide Advisory Board
SAVE- Suicide Awareness Voices of Education